Grieving

I lost my Uncle Jerry this past week, and it brought a wave of emotions all around me. I saw him struggle, and it made me upset to see such an upbeat guy in so much pain. But I saw him cognizant, even dying in hospice, still cracking jokes. His sharpness and his detailed stories, even while he was gasping for breath, were astounding to me. It made me think about the duality of life, and our responses to tough circumstances. 

Here was this man, laying there as everyone said "see you later" (I never say "goodbye") on his deathbed, still telling me he was proud of me, and trying to motivate me. If being surrounded by loved ones and telling old stories isn't the perfect legacy, then trying to help others at the end, surely is. My Uncle Jerry had both. 

It was painfully sad to lose his physical presence, and I broke down a bit outside of his room. It's hard to see your family cry, and it's even harder knowing that you haven't seen most of them in years. As weddings and funerals become the most prevalent markers of the passage of time, we see our mortality as others look at how much we've grown. Infants become adults, adults become weathered matriarchs, and weathered matriarchs become dearly departed. The cycle moves on, all too quickly. 

I said all of that to say: that the most vivid memories I had this week were of my uncle, mobile and smiling. Me as a happy child, running freely, his little "Merink". So, when you do see your old family and friends, hug them a little longer. Call them more, take more pictures, tell them you're proud of them. The harsh reality is, they won't be here for long. But remember them as the people that raised you when life was easier, bigger, and more timeless. We all need to hold onto that part of us a little longer. Uncle Jerry would've wanted it that way. 

See you soon, Uncle Jerry. Your Merink is proud of you. 

Balancing Your Holiday Season

Plainly speaking, this generation has been trained to focus on commercialism during the holidays. The former notions of peace and thankfulness often get replaced by shopping, decoration, gift wrapping, and cooking. With the hustle and bustle taking the forefront, it's easy for Christmas to start feeling like a task list of errands instead of the Holly Jolly time of year that Bing Crosby used to sing about. That causes feelings of stress, overwhelm, and even dread during a time that we're supposed to look forward to. 

To combat this, we must find moments of quiet contemplation. My resolution for this may sound easier said than done. But it's a matter of practice and reminders. As busy creatures with a thousand things in our phone calendars, we don't leave ourselves much time for peace. But allotting yourself even twenty minutes per day to sit and breathe can do wonders for your mood and mental health. 

Write it in your phones, set an alarm, have a friend text you to keep you accountable. Do whatever you have to do. Whether it's part of your morning routine in the shower, or at night before bed, be alone with your thoughts to remember the reason for the season. Take the time to drum up memories from nostalgic Christmases past, and to conjure moments from loved ones whom you miss most during this time of year. 

Set some new precedents for the holidays. Lower your spending limits and buy less material things. Dance around to Christmas music while you wrap five presents per day, instead of stressing yourself out by doing them all at once. Have some simple holiday nights in with your family, watching movies with hot chocolate in your pajamas. Reconnect with people that you've missed out on throughout the year. 

Life simply goes by too quickly to be stressing over traditions set by people you've never met. Make your holidays what YOU want them to be. Start your OWN traditions that make you happy instead of slowly crossing tasks off of a list. You only get so many of these years in good health with all the people that you love. Spend these days thinking of all the cool places and people you've seen, instead of rushing to get to the next big date on the calendar. With some balance in your holiday season, you may remember the excitement that you once felt for these days as a child. And that kind of youthful innocence is one of the best gifts you could ever give yourself. 

Happy Holidays, My Blessed Readers,

Jason Burke

The Last Stand

Back in June, I decided I was going to do the one thing I’d never done before on a 48 Hour Film Project…run my own team. I’ve written for them, assistant directed, script supervised, acted, run sound, shot scenes, ect over the past nine years. But for the big number ten, I wanted to see if I could really direct my own. I’d directed dozens of things over the years, but I’d always thought the 48 was the biggest local film challenge possible. So this October, running number ten was going to be my competition swan song.

Truth be told, my body simply isn’t equipped for these long hours and tight deadlines anymore. I was born with cerebral palsy, and since about 2010, the combination of spinal stenosis and fusion surgeries has made my balance and endurance about 20% of what it used to be. My hands have been closing and my legs have been trying to scissor. My neurologists begged me not to do this, citing that I legitimately take years off of my life when I do these competitions. But I’m a creator so, being the stubborn guy that I am, I decided to take the chance anyway. I probably didn’t help matters any when I stumbled at the Kickoff Event and concussed myself on a concrete wall before we even got our genres. This was no time for doctors, this was #TheLastStand.  

If I didn’t have the awesome team that I did, I wouldn’t have felt comfortable going into this battle so weary. My talented cinematographer also came in very injured, and he sacrificed just as much as I did (if not more). I made new friendships, galvanized old ones, and sprinted to a movie with some of the kindest, hardest working people I’ve ever met. We didn’t win any awards (but did get a runner-up and a nomination that I’m very proud of), but I said that as long as we enjoyed the process and made a good film, I’d be okay with whatever the results were. I believe we did that, so I’m extremely proud to call this my final 48HFP. #TheLastStand was a success. 

So I leave you with this. Thank you to every person I’ve ever competed with, and competed “against” in these. You guys are family now, and will be family forever. Thank you to Kahmeela, Lance, PJ, the judges, and everyone who has given us a platform to create and showcase our work. Artists, if you’re thinking about making a movie, the time is now. This city is BURSTING with talent that gets fresher and sharper every year. Take a chance, network, and see your vision come to life on the big screen. There’s no experience like it. Don’t be afraid to fail. You will fail, a lot, and it will be the best thing that could happen to you. You will learn and grow and be better with every film and every test that comes your way. This competition has a way of making memories and friends that last a lifetime. Film itself is a legacy, in that you will have your name in the credits until the end of time, and what an AMAZING gift that is to leave the world with.

I’m not done with filmmaking, not by a longshot. I’m retired from the time constraints and regulations of short competitions. But I’ve got a lot of stories to tell, and I want to represent the handicapped community and be a motivator for people who haven’t found their voice yet. So I look forward to writing, directing, and acting with you all on set, for many years to come. 

I don’t really know what my goal was in writing this. Partially to tell my story, partially to try to inspire people, and largely to impart my gratitude to my talented colleagues in this community. You guys are more rare and special than you realize. So create. Make mistakes. Be original. Find your crew. Lead with love. Show the world your art. If we’ve learned anything at all, it’s that the world needs it. 

With Love And Respect,

Jason Burke

What Are You Waiting For?

How much time do you have? How long do most people live? Even if your answer is a hundred years, that’s not an abundance of time. Those hundred years will fly by in what feels like seconds. That thought makes every single day feel so much more important. Every day in itself isn’t that grandiose, unless you fill it with things that make it so. So how do you maximize your days and use them to get ahead on your life’s dreams? The answer may be simpler than you think. 

It boils down to this singular, rudimentary thought…just start. Start that art project that you’ve been talking about for years, start catching up on the stack of emails that you’ve put off forever, start cleaning up that pile of clothes that’s been sitting in the corner of your bedroom since 1997. When famous philosophers talk about a long journey beginning with a single step, this is what they mean. 

People are often distracted and afraid by the build-up in their own heads. A project seems too large, or too hyped up, that they have no idea where to start. The idea of tackling something so massive seems insurmountable and brings hills of anxiety and even dread. Just start. Start today. Carve out even a small chunk of time in the evening to slowly chip away. Once you start the job, you are one day closer to getting a once impossible-seeming task accomplished. 

The only reason you are not “an artist” is because you’re not treating yourself like one. All it takes to be an artist…is to create art. The speed or skill doesn’t even matter. Those things are subjective anyway. Once you produce something, you’re an artist. And once you start getting out of your own head and working on that project, it becomes easier and easier to produce. 

It’s a macabre thought, but our lives are limited. Time is finite, and we make too many excuses not to do the things we love. Do we truly have time for those excuses? So what’s stopping you? What are you waiting for? You’re an artist, and the world is waiting to see your creations.

How Do You Eat An Elephant?

A big task list is one of the most dangerous things we can heap onto ourselves, and it can cause the most harm to our peace of mind. When we stop to think of the many things that we have to do today, it can feel insurmountable and become a daunting weight that presses into our chest, with no way to lift the growing boulder. How do we save ourselves? The same way we'd eat an elephant.

Okay, don't lose me here. I think back to my college math classes, when one of my favorite professors would help us solve huge equations. He'd always say "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!" He meant that to achieve success, you had to break your long journey into single steps. That always stuck with me. Thanks, Mr. Malena.

When the world starts to pile up tasks on us, we have to look for small victories. Some days, achieving that one thing will kick-start you into getting twenty more things done. Other times, that one thing is all you will do that day. And that's OKAY, because you're now one task closer to being done, and you've started your journey.

Human nature dictates that we're likely to have things pile up on us from time to time, and we're all likely to get angry and wallow in self-pity. That's fine for a moment, but then we must chunk down our lists and start to slowly chip away. I myself am writing this right now because I'm having a busy day that needs to be processed with thought and care. Otherwise you will overreact, and spiral into a harmful pit of stress and a viscous cycle of depression.

One task at a time. One day at a time. Breathe. Rest. Vent. Process however you need to, and then start gaining small victories. That's how you achieve your dream life. Eat your elephant, one bite at a time.

You Are Not Alone

This is one of the more straight-forward ideas that we'll discuss on this blog. The root of our sadness and anxiety often stems from the idea that we have to go through the world's trials alone. That's simply and definitively, not true.

The human mind has a way of turning to a fatalist mentality fairly quickly for some of us. No matter how positive of a person that you are, it's a natural human trait to turn to the worst case scenarios and self pity when something negative happens to us. We prepare and control all that we can, but timing and circumstances will cruelly catch us off-guard every time.

It surely FEELS like you're all alone when you get slapped in the face by a harsh turn of events. But that feeling is a trick that our macabre minds attempt to hold us at bay with. People out there have gone through bad breakups. They've gone through financial burdens. They've gone through family issues. They've gone through job stress. They've gone through health concerns. The relatability is out there, even if it's not in your exact situation.

More so, people WANT to help you. You have a support system, even though it doesn't feel like it in this cold moment. You're NOT a burden if you reach out to people. You've made more of an impact on society than you realize. You feel lonely, but you're not alone.

So rest for a moment and breathe out, knowing that an unfair situation won't break you. Then reach out. Go out for a meal and put your mind on other things. Vent to someone you trust. Let them give you advice or relate to their similar stories and experiences. Tomorrow is one day closer to healing, and each day will be closer still. You will get through this. Just allow people to help you, just like you would do for them

Don't Put Your Drama On Social Media

It's in our human nature to seek validation. We like to be heard, to be right, to be loved. At our general core, we tend to get lonely and feel like nobody understands our plight. It appears as if there's not another soul on the planet who's going through what we are. Enter the dangers of social media.

Social media has many wonderful uses. We can use it to make plans, to share our work and causes, and to keep in touch with far away friends and family. This isn't a piece that's meant to bash social media, but more a cautionary tale in the ways we choose to abuse it.

In current day, the first thing that a lot of people do in the second that they feel slighted, is to run to social media and broadcast their outrage. Whether it's to complain about workplace conditions, to brandish how mistreated they were in their last relationship, or to complain about their family's bad habits, these types of call to attention run a very serious risk.

When you start to open up your personal details in a public forum, they are evergreen. People remember, screenshot, and discuss everything. By sharing these feelings on these platforms, you open yourself up to judgment, ridicule, and opinions that you may not want to hear, sometimes from complete strangers. How many times have we seen someone complain about an ex-lover, only to get back together with that person. Now not only have you soured your friends on this person and made them look like a bad mate, but you look equally awful for taking that person back after you slandered them with such vitriol. Now your friends have a negative opinion of both of you that you likely don't appreciate, and it all could've been avoided by keeping it out of the public eye. Even long after you delete these hasty, spur of the moment posts, they never go away. 

Needing an ear for advice or seeking the comfort of your inner circle is a very natural thing. But when it revolves around drama and negative emotions, it's best to work those out in an alternative way. Speak directly to the person that has hurt you. Talk in person to your trusted friends to get their thoughts. Allow yourself the time to sleep on it, work out your aggression, and come back to the situation when you're not reacting out of anger. Put yourself in the hands of the people that know you the most intimately, not two-thousand strangers who may have ulterior motives. It may feel good in an irrational burst to summon people to your platform, but once the moment passes, involving yourself in public drama will only cause more regret. 

Only you live your life, and life comes with enough judgment on its own. Don't allow others the option to throw their narratives onto your story.