Being able to rely on a friend in a time of crisis is among the most calming blessings that a stressed person can ever experience. Knowing that there's someone you can trust to sit in silence with, gain perspective from, or simply vent at when you need to, feels like a buoy in the middle of a ranging ocean.
But the role that the comforting friend takes in the healing of the ailing friend is very crucial. It plays like a hippocratic oath for doctors: "First, do no harm". When someone is bleeding, you must first stop that bleeding before you can treat any other wounds. When a boat has a hole in it, you must first plug up that hole before you can worry about getting the water out.
Let your friend vent, and listen intently. Have their back, and let them know that you're a safe space for them. But don't fan the flames or add more reasons to burn. Don't judge your friends in their times of weakness, and don't run to other parties to use private conversations as kindling. Use baking soda to douse the fire, not wood to enhance it.
Pained friends need an outlet, an honest voice, and a sincere sense of care. They don't need more gossip, lectures, or outside opinions that they didn't seek. Be the kind of friend that you'd want to have the next time you need a friend.
-Jason Burke
