Restoring Energy

Far too often, we make our problems seem worse than they actually are. "Making a mountain out of a molehill", our parents would warn us. The inability to think clearly, and the ease it takes to get entirely overwhelmed is a far too common issue that keeps us from solving our dilemmas. Most times, that comes from us not giving ourselves the proper attention. By putting ourselves first on occasion, we can restore the energy we've been lacking to tackle life's doldrums. Here are some common examples of times when we need to reflect, that would make our lives a whole lot easier.

1. Friends Issues:

This is the most common of the examples of overloading ourselves. It's always important to be a good friend and put in effort to aid others. But there are things we must identify for ourselves to make sure we're not neglecting ourselves in the process. Firstly, is this a true friend? Are they someone that makes you feel elevated and proud? Do they put effort into you? If this person is always blaming you for their choices, or you're coming away from hangouts with them feeling heavy and stressed, they're toxic. Those kinds of people will ALWAYS have problems and be surrounded by drama, because that's what they enjoy. Do not throw yourself into the middle of those storms, because they'll judge you for your advice and make you feel like the center of the problem.

However, if they are a true friend, it's a lovely and caring gesture to be at their side through their trauma. Order pizza, have a drink, watch some movies, and talk it out. But empaths often know the haunting side to being TOO involved. The saying goes "you can't pour from an empty cup". Meaning if you are denying yourself to spend all your time solving someone else's pain, you'll never get through yours. Friendship requires sacrifice, but work together to set some schedules so that you both are getting the rest and care you need. Once your energy depletes, you become irritable, scattered, and even sometimes resentful of the things that took it away. Know your limits.

2. Over-Working:

Work is a necessary evil. It's not only good from a financial standpoint, but also in keeping our minds and bodies productive. Having the drive to want to work and climb the ladder to success is a wonderful trait. But...know your limits. Sure, in this economy, we all need the money. But never work so hard that you no longer remember what you're working for. Sometimes it's okay to go out with your family for a nice dinner on your day off, or turn down overtime to go home and fall asleep while binge-watching your favorite comfort show. Enterprising is positive, but give yourself time to turn your brain off. Appreciate the work you put in, and reward yourself with a fun hangout or a long bath. If you can't enjoy anything other than work, then you're working too much.

3. Organize and Plan:

So your financial situation is marred in debt. You've got school loans, a car part to fix, and you're saving for a house. The first thing you'll do is panic. Solvency feels like it'll never come. The same example can be applied to a new homeowner with a thousand things to plan, a new mother on no sleep who wants to go back to school, or an artist who's buried in projects that are unfinished. These tasks seem daunting and impossible, but they aren't. Put your focus on one thing at a time. It's hard, but compartmentalizing is a skill that pays back in spades. The second you make a list, a little stress lifts. You go after one task, and you feel good for attacking your problems. You ask around and make the proper phone calls, and see what aid may be available to you. Suddenly you feel a new sense of pride and accomplishment rising, and your self-worth and energy starts to return. Set a plan, follow through, and ask for help if needed. Right away, the impossible becomes possible.

4. You Can Say No:

The kind-hearted souls devouring this blog have a hard time saying 'no' to anyone. That goes for friends (see above), family, loans, or valuable time. Saying no is one of the hardest things for a self-sacrificial empath to do, but it's completely paramount to a healthy lifestyle. If you start to make time for yourself, your energy starts to restore instantly. Set it up so that you can stay in the shower for an extra 10 minutes, or sleep in for another hour on the weekend. Instead of over-booking yourself, forcing your body to give everything to everyone, handle that conversation via text after you finish a chapter of a good book. Put off catching up on e-mail for an hour while you write or draw...it's not going anywhere. You'll feel more well-rounded, more proud, and more calm. People that truly love you will understand that you need a night to yourself to recover. The energy you get will help you give out more coherent, heartfelt, positive, work or advice to others down the road. To help others, you must first be in a good place yourself.

I hope these steps in restoring energy were helpful, and I hope your goals for the new year are off to a hot start. Love yourselves, and each other. See you soon,

-Jason Burke