Are you tired of WWE’s same old shtick? Does the nonsensical booking want to make you pull your hair out? Well I thought I’d take a page right from the IWC this time, and engage in a wrestling pastime…fantasy booking. If I had my way (with the current roster in place), here’s how I’d logically book WWE’s biggest show of the year (yes, I said logically, which means Cena and Orton must be on the card).
Pre-show: Tag Title 4-Way: Usos vs. Miz/Mizdow vs. Ascension vs. Cesaro/Kidd
I’m sorry I couldn’t fit this on the regular show, but it’s a nice way to include some of the best workers and give the tag division the lift it needs. Mizdow can do his entertaining spots, and the Ascension can lose without looking weak or being pinned. I’d give the belts to Cesaro and Kidd personally (it’s a shame to see how far Cesaro has fallen in a year), but they won’t. So the Usos would pin Miz here, setting up their feud with Ascension and Mizdow’s split from Miz in an entertaining spot-fest.
1. Andre The Giant Battle Royal: Luke Harper Wins
I’ve got a show of 7 main events here plus this match, so this can go on first. You’d throw several of the tag match guys in there as well. I’d have it come down to Wade Barrett, Ryback, Cesaro, and Harper. Giving Harper this win is a way of really kick starting his solo career and giving him his first Mania moment he deserves.
2. Orton vs. Rollins
This one makes sense, given the history of the two, and Rollins turning on/taking out Orton. These two also seem to have chemistry, so the match should be very good. I give Rollins a big Mania win here with some underhanded tactics. This way Orton gets his heat back by attacking and punt-kicking Rollins after the match. That way people assume Rollins is too hurt to cash in his MITB contract later in the night.
3. Reigns vs. Rusev
I know Reigns is the golden boy, but he’s not ready to win the World Title just yet. Giving him a big match that’s lower on the card will lessen his heat with the crowd. These two big men could put on a very entertaining (non-title) match, and Reigns can be the one to cleanly end Rusev’s streak. This way Rusev isn’t just fed to Cena as it’s projected, and Reigns gets a big win over an undefeated monster, thereby looking very strong for the future.
4. Ziggler vs. HHH
Given recent history, this makes a ton of sense. Ziggler can boast how he was the one to get the win at Survivor Series and take out the Authority, and that he’s tired of HHH keeping him from being a main event star. This could easily steal the show. I have HHH using his Authority goons to cheat, and Sting coming down to even the odds, as Ziggler pins HHH with the Zig-Zag. This keeps the Sting-HHH feud going for the future, gives Sting a big appearance to pop the crowd, and gives Ziggler a huge Mania victory to propel him into the main event for good.
5. Wyatt vs. Taker
The chemistry and promos between these two would be excellent. The darkness and mind games of these characters is a natural fit, and Wyatt should have been the one to end the streak last year. But there’s no sense burying Wyatt here as Cena did last year. Taker is on his way out and Wyatt needs the signature win over a legend. He gets it here, but the lights go out and Taker disappears after the match, to protect him for a retirement match with Sting next year.
6. Divas Title- Paige vs. Naomi
So you’ll note that I did a title switch here. Have Paige beat Nikki Bella at the Rumble, to set up a match here between the two most athletic divas on the roster. These two would have the potential for an amazing feud if WWE let them. Either one could win here, but I put the belt on Naomi for some fresh blood and fresh match-ups.
7. Cena vs. Ambrose
They have a past of feuding over who got a hold of Rollins, and Ambrose doesn’t care who he goes after. This could be a classic face-on-face battle ala HBK vs. Bret or Cena vs. Batista (the first time) of two good guys who the fans cheer to see who’s the best. This keeps Cena near the top to draw the younger/casual fans and gives Ambrose the big match he needs. Ambrose has been losing like crazy lately, so he needs the win a ton more than Cena. Give him the clean victory with Dirty Deeds.
8. World Title- Lesnar vs. Bryan
This is the match we should have had at Summerslam. The classic small, quick underdog vs. the big, nasty, unstoppable bully. The fans would be going nuts over this, and I suspect the match would be great. Since Lesnar seems to be leaving and the fans are in love with Bryan, Bryan gets the clean win, overcoming the odds. Whether it’s best to have Lesnar lay him out after and have Rollins come cash in the MITB contract or not, I’m not sure. I’m fine with that ending, or the one with Bryan simply winning and getting the confetti again for a real title run.
So that, folks, is how WWE SHOULD book Wrestlemania. Hey, a guy can dream, can’t he?
-Jason Burke
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
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