Failure Is Your Friend

Failure is one of the biggest and most common fears that a lot of us suffer from. We look at it as a finality, a black mark on our achievement records, and we let it devalue us. We don't often fear the fall of taking a risk, we fear the metaphorical splat of failure. But what if I told you that there were very few things to aid you in your journey as well as failure?

The examples go back as far as the beginning of our upbringings. Our parents tell us not to touch the hot stove; so what do our rebellious, uninformed little bodies do? We go and touch the hot stove. And what happens? We burn our hands and run screaming back to our parents for the obligatory "I told you so." But it's this simple: there's a lesson in every mistake. There's some growth in every failure. The next time we think about touching that stove, we're reminded of the time we got burned in the past.

There are a lot of people and places to learn from: home, work, school, church, friends, etc. But a lot of the things that stick with us the most are the things we've learned from our own pasts. The times we got it wrong. Nobody likes to feel like they've lost or they aren't good enough. It's human nature to want to be loved and viewed as successful. So these shortcomings hurt. Badly! But they prepare us for the next path in our lives.

Maybe the job we always wanted wasn't quite the right fit, so the failure of getting fired set us up for a better job. Maybe the person you thought you loved hurt you and wasn't right for you, and it didn't make sense until you found your true soulmate. Maybe you lost a childhood friend who you outgrew, but that made room for new friends who "adult you" has more in common with. It takes the sting of failure (and sometimes even a long, healing, non-linear pit of despair) for our minds to really trigger the lessons that come along with that. Going forward, you subconsciously take those stings with you, and you can now spot the signs of negative things far faster than you could before.

Lessons and growth aren't easy, and it'd be irresponsible of me to tell you that they ever get easier. But every wrong turn makes your view of the world-map a little bigger. So allow yourself to fail, and forgive yourself in the process. Take comfort in knowing that every other human on earth has failed too, even the legends you look up to. As the path begins to become rife with clarity, you'll be able to sit with those past failures and laugh with them, like an old friend.