The Value Of Uncluttering

The end of another all-too-fast year is rapidly approaching. The dust from Christmas chaos is starting to settle, and the promises of hope for 2018 are ringing through the air. Back at the start of this year, I wrote a blog called "New Year, Same Me", where I declared that a simple change of the calendar isn't enough to push-start a happier life. Actions are what makes tomorrow a better day. As temperatures drop, complacency begins to set in, which brings with it a whole pile of self-loathing and overwhelming stress. Well, I have one of the biggest and most underrated methods to combat those tired feelings: Uncluttering. 

Uncluttering is a very simple and archaic concept that contains a ton of different benefits. The idea is to clean up certain areas of your life, clinging to the things you love, and letting go of the things that bring you negativity. By organizing your life this way, you're physically making an effort to discard baggage and highlight the things that make you feel joy. This not only increases productivity and gives a better aesthetic look to the world around you, but reduces stress, which aides your physical and mental health. This can be done at any time. When you feel more tidy and organized, you simply feel better about your life. Here are some of the biggest areas you can unclutter right away. 

1. Your House- Certain personality types are known to clean their homes in times of worry. Physical cleaning is the most common type of uncluttering. Being able to look around your home and see a tidy space gives you a sense of pride and adulthood that few other things do. A cluttered house can be one of the biggest senses of dread, especially around a holiday with incoming company. Give away clothes that you never wear or have outgrown. Throw away outdated documents, or receipts from 1993. Organize your junk drawer, and dig to the bottom of your closets. Organizing a space gets the blood flowing and saves a ton of last minute searching when you've lost something. The hardest part is getting started.

2. Your Hobbies- Though these methods can be done any time, this section is often heavily pushed around this time of year. Sometimes our actual jobs can't be controlled due to the necessity of money. But the new year is a great time to get back to those artistic expressions that you've lost through the hectic doldrums of adulthood.  Time is an incredible thing that constantly needs uncluttered. We always promise ourselves that we're going to make time for more of the things we love, yet we never do. Start to schedule time to be creative. Whether it's through writing, music, drawing, athletics, or simply more time to read, having a purpose outside of our jobs is crucial. Making yourself a safe time and space to create is not only a huge stress reliever, but it's a way to sharpen your mind and give yourself another sense of accomplishment. Even if it's only 20 minutes per day. It may be the hardest of the areas to unclutter, because it takes a consistent effort, but the benefits of happiness that come with it are limitless. 

3. Your Relationships- This one is often forgotten about, but is perhaps the most important of the areas to unclutter. You should always take the time to examine the relationships in your life, because people themselves tend to be our biggest harbingers for happiness or frustration. Do this for everyone...family, partners, business colleagues, and friends. Make time to draw those closer to you who make you happy. Even if it's making a late dinner date when you're tired, or sending a ten second text to check up on someone who you appreciate. It makes their day, and it creates a positive flow of dialogue or a warm memory. A good social life is a beautiful ventilation and respite from the labors of life. By the same token, rid yourself of toxic people that drag you into drama or make you feel angry or heavy. As hard as it is, cutting off people who breed negativity is a form of self-love and self-preservation. You may feel bad for that person, but it's better than having a constant pit of stress in your heart. Do the same with social media. Is there a person who you never talk to on Facebook who's always trolling? Unfriend them. That person on Twitter who wants to engage everyone in political debates? Unfollow them. An uncluttered profile, much like an uncluttered life, gets rid of unnecessary stress and allows you to put energy into the people who you truly care about. 

Taking these simple steps will increase your mood, your body, and your spirit instantly. I wish you all a happy and uncluttered life, and a happy and safe holiday season. I'll see you all in 2018. Love yourselves, and be good to each other. 

-Jason Burke

Giving Without Receiving

There was once a farmer, who spent years cultivating the perfect garden. He spent years and years tending to it, only letting the best people near it. It was his heart and soul, the most important pieces of his life. Every morning, he'd come out to check on his corn, his tomatoes, his peppers, etc, in his calming daily routine.

One day, a man came by and asked the farmer if he could borrow his corn. The farmer replied, "Sure! As long as you can bring some back at some point!" The next day, a girl came by and asked if she could borrow the farmer's tomatoes. The farmer replied "Well, I'm feeling a little weary now that my corn is gone, but you seem nice, so sure. Just promise that when you have some tomatoes, you'll bring some back to share with me." She agreed.

The next day, the farmer was looking around at his garden, realizing that it was looking way less full than before. He felt a little empty inside. Just then, a group of people approached the farmer, asking if they may have the rest of his stock. "We're really hungry, and everything looks so good! Would you mind if we each took a share? I'm sure they'll grow back next season!" The farmer replied, "Well, that would totally empty out my once plentiful garden, but I think you'd all enjoy it. So go ahead, I can do without." They responded "We really appreciate it, and we promise to come back one day and replace all we've taken".

None of the people ever returned to the farm. The farmer came out for the next few months, hoping to rebuild his once mighty farm. He looked down, seeing just holes and dirt where the crops used to grow. Another lady approached, and the farmer said "I don't have any crops left to give. They've all been used up. But if you're hungry, I could go see what I have inside." The lady replied, "No, I just wanted to ask you something. I saw all those people take and take from you, with no return. And yet you kept giving. After years and years of hard work, you have nothing to show for it. Why aren't you more upset?"

The Farmer retorted back, "Well, I'm sad to see my crops gone, but people needed them. My hard work fed people and made them happy. Now there are pieces of my heart and soul spread out across a ton of places. Isn't that the point of growing in the first place?"

-Jason Burke

To Those With Mothers in Heaven on Mother's Day

What can be said about mothers? They literally gave us life. No words I can create here will mean as much as the gift of life. They're our first soulmates, our first protectors. They put our well being ahead of their own. They cook for us. They bandage our wounds. They order pizza and wings for the whole block. They keep an eye on us out the window as we play outside with our friends. They wash our clothes, sign our permission slips, and teach us right from wrong. And when we get older, they tell us to pursue our dreams...and are sitting right in the front row to cheer us on when we do. But for some of us, the time here on earth with our beloved moms was cut too short. They were taken from us in their primes, long before we were ready to let them go.

For those people, Mother's Day (even more than most others) is bittersweet. Don't get me wrong, every day is hard, but it's those holidays and anniversaries that really remind us that we can't hug our moms and thank them for all they've done. Watching everyone else treat their moms to dinner and post loving dedications on Facebook makes us really miss their daily impact on our lives. We think about the things that they never got to see us do. Like having their mothers in attendance for graduation. Or introducing their moms to very important friends/partners in their lives. Or dancing with their moms at their wedding. Or watching their moms hold their grandchildren for the first time. We know you're proud of us, but we just want to hear you say it once more.

We go to dial your phone number to tell you about an exciting new job we just got, but it just rings. We knock on your door late at night to get advice about a fight we had with our significant other, but you're not home anymore. We come over to invite you out for Mother's Day dinner, but you aren't sitting in your spot. Your spot's just...empty. Today, just like all days, we miss you. We miss the simple way you'd put us on the right track in life. We miss the smell of your cooking. We miss the way you'd host parties, and keep the family together. We miss the way you'd make all our troubles disappear, by singing "You Are My Sunshine" to us. We miss all those little millions of moments where you made us feel special.

But we know you're still with us. It may not be the same, but you're still with us. You're with us when we breathe out after a stressful day. You're with us when your song pops on the radio, or your favorite movie comes on TV. You're with us in a peaceful breeze, or a day at the beach, or a baby's laugh. And you're not just our angel, guarding beside us...you're inside everything that we do. Every bit of wisdom that we have, that came from you. Every time we make a new friend, or show off our sense of humor, that came from you. Every time we cook a meal, or multitask five things at once, that came from you. All the important decisions that we're about to make, that will shape the rest of our lives...that came from you.

So here on Mother's Day, we try to push aside the hurt, and conjure up all the fond memories that we love about you. We keep you close to our hearts, and know that inside every tear is something about you that we cherish. Please, be extra kind to us today, for our souls are in pain, but our hearts are full of love. If you have your mother with you on her special day, I beg you to hold her tightly. Tell her how much you appreciate everything she's done, and know how lucky you are. Mothers in Heaven, we thank you. Thank you for loving us. Thank you for making us who we've become, and who we will be. Thanks for being our moms, and now our angels. Please hold the gates of Heaven wide open for us. We'll leave an empty chair in the front row, because we know you're still sitting there, cheering us on in everything we do...

-Jason Burke

Five Things NOT To Put On Social Media

Social media can be a wonderful...or a dangerous thing. There are many benefits to having Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram, etc. It's a wonderful way to touch base with tons of people all at once. You can keep up with the lives of people you wouldn't see often, and reconnect with friends and family who you haven't heard from in years. You can let people know with a simple 'like' or a funny meme that you're thinking of them. You can spread awareness about your work/projects, or ask for recommendations to things you're unsure of. But for as many convenient and informative features as social media grants us, there are just as many negative counterparts. Here is a list of five things you DON'T want to put on social media.

5. Geo-tags

Today's world has become accessible at the end of our fingertips. We can Skype or Facetime with a friend who's halfway across the world. But as cool as technology has gotten, it has also given us TOO much exposure. 2017 is a dangerous time period across the globe. With more robberies, murders, kidnappings etc than ever, we've got to be safe about who has access to what information. Geo-tagging is all about checking into certain places, letting people know where you're eating/drinking/shopping/etc. When you do this in abundance, you're inviting random people to have access to your location constantly. Depending on your settings, you could be allowing complete strangers the option of following you around. While that may sound a bit like an extreme alarmist statement, there are cases of this overexposure leading to dangerous encounters. If you're out eating or shopping with a friend, do you really need to let your 575 Facebook friends know the exact address you're at? A simple "out to eat with ___" would suffice if your meal really needs publicity.

4. Over Complaining

There are archetypes of people out there that social media users cannot stand. One of the biggest offenders on these lists are the constant complainers. It's one thing to use Facebook as a pulpit to air your grievances after a hard day, or to ask opinions on a given situation that upsets you, but it's another to post consecutive negative status updates every 6 hours. Sympathy or wise words can sometimes quell a restless spirit, but after a while, you must take action. Everyone deserves the right to a bad day, a bad week, or even a bad month. But the way to heal these wounds is through changing your approach or finding a solution. Continually posting angry blurbs isn't going to heal any wounds. All it's going to do is make people lose sympathy and eventually mute you from their lists. Everyone has it tough, and a course of action will always do more than words on a website.

3. Comparing

This is one of the biggest evils of social media. Human nature seems to dictate that we always feel worse about our own lives when comparing them to the lives of our peers. If a person is going through a breakup, and they find themselves scrolling social media to see all the other happy couples out there, they're naturally going to get depressed. Even when we're happy at times, we log in to see someone else getting a big job or a big house faster than us, and it makes us feel inadequate. Nothing good ever comes from putting yourself on the same plane as someone else. There is always someone better off than us, as well as someone worse off than us. Everyone's journey and time frames are different, and it doesn't make anyone better or worse than another. This one goes for both parties. The poster should be proud of themselves if things are going well, but to realize that constantly boasting one's successes could make people feel bitter or resentful, or start to question that person. That may be a problem that certain personalities (not all) may find tough to deal with. The scroller should realize that focusing on themselves and not trying to compete with others is the only way to feel content and secure.

2. Trolling

Please, don't be this person. Posting for opinions can be fun. Respectfully disagreeing is natural, and it's what makes us individuals. Even starting a lively, informative debate to listen/share ideas is a wonderful function of social media that could expand our way of thinking/relating to people. But there are certain personalities out there who live for trolling. Trolling is the idea that someone says something simply to put down another person or tries to start a fight simply because they're bored. While avoiding trolls may be impossible with today's internet, you don't have to engage them. If there's someone on your list who only responds to start fights and negative dialogue, block or delete them. They're adding nothing positive to your life, and they aren't really your friends to begin with. These people can't be persuaded with or spoken to rationally. They are an extension of cyber-bullies who are looking for cheap thrills off of your reaction. You'll be able to post with much less stress without having to worry about these lifeless drones sitting there waiting to rebut your views.

1. Relationship Drama

This is the most common sin I've found across all of social media. The second that one of these couples gets into a fight, they take to the internet to complain about how abused they've been to a bunch of strangers. They post vigorously on a daily basis about how they deserve better, and how they are unappreciated. They likely go from listed as "In A Relationship" to "Single" to "It's Complicated" on a weekly basis, and nobody takes them seriously. Then they go and complain that everyone takes their relationship as a joke, or that everyone is too involved in their situation. These are also the people who tag their lover in every other post about how perfect they are, after they complained in public about them yesterday. Now obviously I'm not talking about the proper, functioning couples out there. This one applies to the immature attention seekers who want to feel validated anytime something doesn't go their way. One of the main rules of a good relationship is that it doesn't need to be plastered on social media. I'm not saying you can't ask for a vague opinion on an issue or proudly post a picture of your significant other. I'm saying that when you publicly blast your partner or go to these extreme highs and lows, it's going to give others the right to a public opinion. It makes both partners look silly, and makes the relationship look even worse. If you have an issue with your partner, go talk to them personally and work through it like rational adults.

So, there are my five tips to a healthier, happier social media experience. I hope these ideas have made your scrolling just a bit easier today. Thank you as always, my valued readers...now I'm going to go post the link to this on social media. Be sure and share it with your friends! :)

-Jason Burke

The Four Layers of Life

    By now, everyone knows that the meaning of life is "to love and be loved", and the goal of life is "happiness". But very few people know how to achieve those proverbs. No matter the character traits or exterior personality that someone shows, every person walking this earth wishes to find happiness and love. But actually taking steps to secure that inner peace is hard. Time is limited, responsibilities are boundless, patience is thin, and we're our own harshest judge. But there are tangible ways to accomplish the balance needed to achieve a happy and productive life. To find this balance, today I'm going to look at the four most important layers of living: Work, Art, Social Time, and Personal Time. Once you find a way to evenly incorporate these four facets, you'll find your spirit beaming with pride, accomplishment, and rest.

1. Work

    This one is the least fun of the bunch. The one that is necessary to live an adult life. The one that pays the bills, keeps food on the table, and keeps the creditors off of your back. Most of us aren't able to make money with the things that we truly love/create, so we have to earn our wages through a 9-5 job. If you love what you do, or can make a living selling your art, then you likely already have found a great deal of peace and pride in your soul. If you haven't, you're likely working insane amounts of overtime trying to make a buck. I'd never advise you not to work, in either case. Everyone needs to feel useful, and needs a job to pad out the hours and further their skill sets. The key is not to work so hard that you don't have any time or energy to spend the money you make on the things/people you love. Sometimes it's necessary to work a little extra, but most times, a paranoid workaholic syndrome makes us believe we have to grind 24/7. Sometimes it's okay to slow down and stop rushing. To spend time in the park with your child, or have a romantic date with your significant other, or even lay around and binge in a lazy Netflix marathon. Over-working can be just as dangerous as under-working, and time should not be wasted. When life is at its twilight, you'll remember the times you spent outside the office walls, not the 60 hour work-weeks. Turning down some overtime or not answering your boss' call on an off-day can be better than missing a chance to enjoy yourself.

2. Art

    Some jobs give us the chance to make an impact and touch people's lives, but most don't. One of the things that truly enriches us and makes us happy is knowing that our imprint is being made on the world. To truly feel like we've contributed and added to our personal legacy which lives on after us. One of the best ways to live a life like that is by creating art. Our work are the things we have to do...our art are the things we want to do. The mind must always be kept strong, and we must avoid the numbness of complacency. We must always be pushed and challenged to evolve, and art leads to the best hobbies. Everyone has some form of creativity...whether it be writing, singing, dancing, acting, drawing, painting, crafting, etc. Pursuing your God-given gifts not only naturally makes you happier, but also creates something that can never be taken away. Force yourself to spend even a few hours a week on one of those gifts. It channels your stress into something you enjoy, and furthers your esteem and self-worth.

3. Social Time

    So after a 40+ hour work week and several hours working on your art, you must be exhausted. At this point it's easy to just want to curl up in a comfy blanket and pass out for eternity. But something inside you still feels empty, missing, and lonely. That's because as bonded as you are to your career and your crafts, there's a stronger bond calling...your friends. Friends are there through years and years of triumphs and trials, to celebrate the good and mourn the bad alongside you. It's important that they don't get lost in the shuffle. Friends (and Family, as they are incorporated in this category too) are an extension of us. They help make us who we are, they extend our comfort, and they give us the gift of memories, fun, and laughter. Send them the occasional text...it takes less than 30 seconds. Remind them you love and are thinking of them. It'll make both of your days brighter and doesn't take much effort. Sacrifice a few hours of sleep to watch a movie with them on the couch over a pizza. Highlight your next off-day on the calendar to make plans with them. Even if it's just a brief, hour-long coffee chat, it'll get you energized and satisfied as you head to your next task. Being a friend/family can be hard work, but the love you give and receive will make you so much happier as the years fly by.

4. Personal Time

    So you're finally sitting in your warm home, going over your exhausting day in the quiet. You've worked a long day, progressed your art, and saw a friend or two. Now take the time to marinate in it. Just as important as the other three, it's integral to your health and well-being to rest. Whether it's watching a movie, scrolling on Facebook, reading, praying, or sleeping, take that down time that centers you at the end of the day. Enjoy the quiet, now that you've worked for it. Take the time to think about what you need to mull over, take a long bath, and reinvigorate your body so you can do it all over again tomorrow. If you need to miss out on one of the above three for this one sometimes, that's okay. Don't beat yourself up over it. You've earned it.

    So those are the four aspects of life that need the most time and focus. The key to your personal production and happiness of course, relies on your incorporation and balance of these aspects. Obviously I can't tell you when and how to choose each one, as different schedules work best for each individual person. But once you have a healthy flow of these, you'll find your life is at it's peak in usefulness, confidence, and happiness. We all want that, and we can all achieve that. Cheers, to you finding your perfect balance in the four layers of life. Love yourself, and love each other, my valued readers.

-Jason

Fix Your Heart, Fix The World

The world is in a really strange place at the moment. The more time advances, the more controversial and sensitive the earth becomes. Most of the debates and consternation have centered around the newly elected President Trump, and whether or not he's the right man for his powerful position. The conservative republicans cling to the general stance that if you're against Trump, you're a lazy, government-sponging pansy who has learned nothing from the politicians of the past. The extremist left wing liberals tout that everything Trump-related is hateful, racist, misogynistic, and misinformed. Neither side wants to hear the opposing viewpoint, and anyone who supports the opposite opinion is attacked, labeled, and profiled. Welcome to America in 2017, folks. 

While I'm not here to build a claim for either of these sides today, I am here to say that Trump (or whoever would have been elected) isn't the end all, be all. With approval ratings, congress, protesters, and so forth, he can only do so much (in a positive or a negative sense). While we're living in unknown and uncertain times nationally, it's our neighborhoods, businesses, and spirits locally that are suffering most. Nothing in the vain of radical positive changes can occur in the United States as a whole until we fix our local towns, suburbs, and attitudes right outside our front doors. If each of us work on fixing our hearts and being the best version of ourselves, we'll find that the world is a much more tolerant, positive, happy place for it. Whether you aim to help Trump in his cause, or you wish to make up for what you feel are his wrongdoings, here are some quick and easy ways to fix the world from outside the political system. 

1. Shop Locally

Big business runs rampant in America, with more shopping monopolies than ever before. Before you run out to Giant Eagle or Walmart to dole out a ton of cash, consider the neighborhood shops. Our local towns are suffering economically, and this simple change would make a big difference. Spending time at your local pawn shop, drug store, or art gallery has many benefits. It puts money back in the pockets of small time businessmen, circulating money for your neighbors and friends, stimulating the local economy. It also puts you more in tune with the surrounding population, perhaps creating a relationship with more people in your town and making you more present in the neighborhood. Prices also tend to be cheaper in local shops, so you'd save money too, while you're funneling it into the hands of people who really need it.

2. Visit Hospitals

Everyone has different ways of spending their free time, finally unencumbered of their busy jobs and hectic lives. But I've found that one of the best ways to use up a free hour each week is to spend time at the closest hospital. Even if you don't have a relative to brighten up, your presence will be much appreciated. You may mentor a sick child, volunteer to lighten a workload, or simply spend time with a needing, elderly stranger. Smiles and effort are contagious, and have an immense power to impact someone's entire day. Even spending an hour swapping stories can change someone's heart. This gives you perspective that you're not the only one struggling, and reminds you how good you may have it in life. Not to mention the benefits of getting to know a grateful person and spreading joy that can touch (or even extend) someone's life. Which in turn, makes you a happier person, and creates a heartfelt cycle. 

3. Creation Is Better Than Destruction

Instead of spending time yelling at some person whose opinion differs from yours, and trying to get them to see what they undoubtedly won't, channel that frustration into making art. Take some time to love yourself instead of hating others. Write, draw, paint, knit, act, sing, dance, ect. Whichever form your creative spirit enjoys, escape into it. These hobbies not only are incredible stress relievers that are good for the body, but they keep the mind flowing on positive things. You're adding to your legacy and attaching things to your name that can never be taken from you. Find your voice through art, not through hateful words and hurt feelings.

4. Neighborhood Watch

When I was younger, neighborhoods policed themselves. Every surrounding neighbor acted as an extended parent for every child, and every child was accountable to those adults. Kids walked freely up and down the streets without fear, because every home had guardians who cared for them inside. I know we live in a different, more dangerous time now. But for that reason, we need to watch our local towns more than ever. How do we expect to clean up national streets if we can't even improve our local ones from crime, homelessness, and pollution. Work with the adults in your community to set up a neighborhood watch of sorts. Be mindful of trash, be respectful of neighbors, be intolerant to crime. If each neighborhood improves one iota, we'll be in a far better place economically and peacefully than we were before. Watching your animals, correcting your children, picking up garbage, and keeping your eyes open can improve your living situation and your stress by 100%.

5. Forgive Grudges

If 2016 taught us anything, it's that people die. While people started blaming the number on the calendar for taking beloved names from our lives, the reality is, we're all getting older every day. "In the best of times, our days are numbered anyway", Alistair Cooke wrote. Society has gotten so entitled, and so comfortable being angry. What did someone do to you to make you so upset? When we hold a grudge, it doesn't hurt the person who we're holding the grudge against, it hurts us. There's no sense making such an effort to hold onto hate against a person who doesn't even care in the first place. While they are paying no care or attention, we're busy losing sleep, shedding tears, and saying hurtful things. In most cases, it's lack of honesty or communication that caused the issue. Say what you need to say, get everything out, and move on. If there is a response, listen to it, and consider it from their perspective. Listening clearly, with empathy, is just as important as getting your feelings out. In some cases, this exercise will repair relationships. In others, you'll forgive them for yourself, and then move on. Either way, you'll release held feelings and lower stress by the boatloads, and give yourself the peaceful conclusion you deserve. Tomorrow isn't promised, so make yourself happy today.

6. Donate Items

Clutter is the devil's playground. A busy and full room can lead to a busy and full mind. One of my favorite feelings in the world is cleaning up my home, and getting rid of extraneous things. Whether it's cleaning out your closets, emptying old bill drawers, or weeding out your social media accounts of toxic relationships, this is a supreme stress release. Give your unused clothes to disabled veterans. Give your old toys to needy children for Christmas. Give your extra tapes to a friend with spare time. Getting rid of these things will not only make you breathe deeper for having a cleaner space, but it also channels those items to people that can truly use and appreciate them. 

There you have it. Amidst my long and detailed ramblings, I've enclosed 6 tips to improve your lifestyle and make the most of your local worlds. The first step to improving the nation is improving our towns and ourselves. If we're kind, mindful, creative, giving, and supportive, does it truly matter who's in office in Washington? One human man can't completely save or destroy the world alone, but one fixed heart in one small neighborhood at a time, can certainly go a long way toward improving it. Love yourselves, and love each other. 

-Jason Burke  

New Year, Same You

        So 2017 is upon us, and it couldn't have come soon enough. Each one of us has been eager to leave the celebrity sucking, gorilla killing, political dumpster fire that was 2016 behind us for our own reasons. While this past year was rough on society as a whole, it had it's valleys on the personal front for me as well. I had six friends pass away, all under the age of 38. They were also all from the hometown that I grew up in. So I had my fair share of grief and self-loathing, along with the rest of the free world. But the changing of the calendar brings about a new hope, a chance for a fresh start, and another reason for motivation to clean the slate. The chocolate goes in the trash, people suddenly become better at texting, and the gyms fill up as there's a line out the door to get to your favorite treadmill...for about two weeks. While I'd never shout down somebody who aimed to make a true change in their lives, there is a gaping consistency problem with the "New Year, New Me" theory. The more you aim to use 2017 as your reason for improvement, the more you realize you did the same thing with 2016, and 2015, and 2014. You are who you are. The habits and responsibilities you set for yourself will continue to shape you. But I'm not saying hope is lost. I'm saying there are keys to happiness, and if you make a consistent effort to follow them, you won't need a calendar to tell you that you're in a better place. New Year, Same You. But if you work toward these goals, that 'You' can have the best year ever. 

1. Keep Your Ears To Yourself

   The biggest stresses in our lives are often things that have absolutely nothing to do with us. In a culture of self-centered nature, we tend to get lost in perception. We want to be involved in all of the gossip. We want to have an opinion on everything, and want everyone to hear that opinion. We care how everything looks to others. We care about how everyone else feels about us. Those things have very little benefit, and very high chance for disaster. If you're always concerned with how you're being viewed or what someone else's view of you is, then you don't have a chance to work on yourself. Instead of creating a happy world on Facebook, put that energy into your job. Instead of taking the perfect Snapchat selfie, spend mindless time with family and friends. Someone else's opinion of you is none of your business. The drunk guy dancing at the wedding always has more fun than the person who's too afraid to dance. Why? Because the drunk guy doesn't care who sees him, or what he looks like. While I'm not advocating alcoholism here, I am advocating a world where you focus on doing things for yourself, and working on becoming the best version of yourself. When you're happy and ever-improving, the stress of the surrounding world no longer gets into your heart.

2. Self-Worth; Make Friends With It

The person walking into the room with confidence always tends to get the job or the date faster than the person who sits in the corner with their head down. Why? Because they know their worth. If you're smiling, you're more likely to make others around you smile. If you're negative and upset, you're more likely to drag the room down into the pit of despair. Body language and energy are contagious. Which is exactly why you should love and appreciate what you bring to the table. If you feel under-appreciated at your job, and aren't getting the money or assignments you deserve, respectfully and politely speak up about it. If your significant other is surfing Amazon for purses or checking their Fantasy Football App more than talking to you, tell them you feel neglected. The list goes on. If you don't love and defend yourself, you can't expect anyone else to do it for you. Things like jobs and relationships can make or break a person's mood and lifestyle. But if you are comfortable and confident in what you deserve, you can fight to get further ahead.

3. The Relationship Trap

90% of the population today are in a rush to the altar. Everyone wants to make a mad dash down the aisle with that special someone. But the problem with that is, when you're rushing, your adrenaline is pumping and your eyes aren't fastened on what's around you. We were all taught at a young age that it's commonplace to get married at a young age, buy a house, and start a family. That pressure is exacerbated by the exposure of social media. We all advertise our lives so much and compare ourselves to each other, that we feel that unless we find someone to love us romantically, that we are failing, or lesser than someone else. So we scramble to go on dates, force someone onto us like Cinderella's glass slipper, or feel unlovable when we aren't attached. Everyone's journey is different. Some people get married at 18, others at 35, even some at 60. Don't compare your timeline to others, because you will always find someone better off (and worse off) than you. When you stay with someone who's bad for you because you're afraid to be alone, you put far more drama and stress onto yourself. When you force the wrong person to try and fit when they clearly aren't a match, you end up more disappointed than you began. When you hate yourself for being single, you miss out on learning about yourself and doing things that you personally enjoy. You know when someone is right for you. Stop forcing it or justifying bad excuses, and make the best move for yourself. Live your life, and live it happily for yourself, and that special person will be magnetized to you to peanut butter to jelly.

4. All Work And No Play...

...You know the old adage. Money is perhaps the biggest stress case in today's society. We work for hours on end, losing precious time doing things we'd rather be doing. Work is good. It gives us a career to feel good about, a purpose to fill our days, and money, which is necessary. But money needs to be a means to and end, and not the thing that drives us. Why was it said that "money is the root of all evil"? Because it consumes us, creates greed and gluttony, and takes our focus away from more important things. You need money to pay the bills, mortgage, groceries, ect. So work hard and do your best. But if you're spending 70 hours a week doing it, what's the point. You're making money that you have no time or energy to spend. When you look back at life, you're going to remember the people in it, not the hours spent working. You'll think of the friends and family gatherings that gave you precious memories, not punching the time clock and sitting at a desk. So no matter how challenging it is, make time for people. Send simple reminder texts to brighten people's days. Go out for coffee or dinner or a drink even though you're tired. Call your mother back at night even though you just want to pass out on the couch with Netflix. Give yourself outlets. Those people and places will be there for you long after you've retired from your job. 

5. There's No Ship Like Friendship

Friends can be your biggest shelter from any storm. If you're anything like me, the people in your circles are the biggest lifeline in humanity. But like any aspect of life, things can go sour over time. There's a huge stress in staying friends with someone simply because you've known them forever, or because you feel bad for their situation. So just like in a relationship, you begin to give 1,000 chances or make excuses for that person. If someone is more dramatic than happy, it may be time to cut them lose. If they bring you down with negativity and are trapping you in constant arguments, you may have to let them go. I know, it's easier said than done. But the company you keep shapes a major aspect of who you are. People change. Someone you once thought of as a best friend or brother/sister, may be a stranger by this time next year. Everyone comes into your life to teach you a lesson, but not all of them stay. This was my personal cryptonite for years. I never understood that it was okay to change your feelings on someone, or that a relationship could devolve. I lost 6 friends in 2017. Two of which I never got closure or reasoning with. That hurt like crazy for a long time. It happened out of thin air. Two of the others, I went back decades with. But it was needed. I wish them all the best, and I've moved on. And others stepped into their place. I made 42 new close friends this year, and I'm happier than I've ever been in that area. It's okay (and sometimes crucial) to let go if someone is bringing you down. Keep being who you are, and let self-preservation and self-awareness be your guide. Drive out the ones pulling you down, and surround yourself with those that lift you up. 

So that's it for the first round, folks. I'm going to be bringing you more self-help articles like this throughout the year, and even further delving into these areas. I hope these helped some of you weed out and find solutions to problems in your life. Recall these throughout the year, and learn to spot these issues when you see them. I guarantee correcting them will lead to a happier lifestyle. It's a new year, but you're still the same you. But grinding in these areas may make 2017 the best year in your life yet. Stay blessed, valued readers!

-Jason Burke