Today Is The Day

 The average human lives around 26,645 days. Considering how fast life flies by, that will feel like far less than you think. Entire years pass by like days as we get older. This may feel like an alarmist call to action, but can we really afford to waste one?

Benjamin Franklin once said: "Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?" and it still rings true. Today is the perfect chance to do that thing that you've been swearing that you'll do. Today... may be the last chance. 

So finish that project, learn that instrument, sign up for that class, ask that person on a date, and call that friend that you've been fighting with to extend the olive branch. Can you risk waiting until tomorrow with those things untried? Today is it, today is all we're guaranteed. Today is a day that can quickly become one of the most special you'll ever have. IF you take that first step. 

Baking Soda, Not Wood

Being able to rely on a friend in a time of crisis is among the most calming blessings that a stressed person can ever experience. Knowing that there's someone you can trust to sit in silence with, gain perspective from, or simply vent at when you need to, feels like a buoy in the middle of a ranging ocean. 

But the role that the comforting friend takes in the healing of the ailing friend is very crucial. It plays like a hippocratic oath for doctors: "First, do no harm". When someone is bleeding, you must first stop that bleeding before you can treat any other wounds. When a boat has a hole in it, you must first plug up that hole before you can worry about getting the water out. 

Let your friend vent, and listen intently. Have their back, and let them know that you're a safe space for them. But don't fan the flames or add more reasons to burn. Don't judge your friends in their times of weakness, and don't run to other parties to use private conversations as kindling. Use baking soda to douse the fire, not wood to enhance it. 

Pained friends need an outlet, an honest voice, and a sincere sense of care. They don't need more gossip, lectures, or outside opinions that they didn't seek. Be the kind of friend that you'd want to have the next time you need a friend. 

-Jason Burke 

While You Still Have Them

While you have your legs, run freely in the grass. Feel the earth between your toes, play tag with your friends, catch touchdowns, and let the sun tire you out. While you have your hands, conduct full symphonies. Write love letters and journal your happiest memories, get an A+ on your assignments. Run your fingers over colorful flowers and warm sand beaches. 

While you have your mind, create masterpieces like only you can. Organize lists, raise funds for great causes, tell stories, and soak up every drop of knowledge that today's world has waiting for you. Learn more about things you love and research things you've never heard of. 

While you still have your teeth, smile the biggest and brightest smile until your cheeks hurt. Laugh with a full belly, spend time with people who make you brighter, and even smile in the face of adversity and dark nights. Smile so brightly that the world needs sunglasses. 

While you still have your family and friends, appreciate them fully. Spend time with the ones you can, and check up on the ones you can't. Use your phone to brighten someone else's day by simply saying 'hello'. Cancel other plans to be a shoulder when they're sad, or toast to their success. When they've won, you've won. Hug too long, squeeze too tight. Say 'I love you' often, but NEVER say 'goodbye'.

Our days are too short, and they go by way too fast. The gifts and the people and the places that fill your daily life today, will be gone next year, or next month, or next week.  Love these things now, while you still have them. 

Shutting Out The Noise

We are busy. We are stressed. We are overwhelmed. We are under-rested. We are unsure. We are stacking our over-filled plates on top of each other until it's too high to even see what's directly in front of us. This whirling blur of a roller coaster is called adulthood. And without any outside forces giving us anything else to do, we will be busy and stressed about SOMETHING for the rest of our too-short lives. That's why it's important to minimize the noise. 

This blog isn't meant to be a fatalistic, doom and gloom look at life as an adult. It's not even meant to be a PSA about stress. You will balance your life once you get the rhythm down, and you'll figure out where your priorities and decompression activities lay. This blog is about taking care of yourself and your responsibilities first and foremost. It's about picking your battles. Knowing what to go to war over, and when to lay down your sword and take off your armor.  

In today's world, everybody wants to be outspoken and identifiable with their causes. And there is a lot of nobility in that. But in constantly fighting for others and bareing other crosses, we often forget about our own daily battles. Enough time filling others' cups will surely leave you parched and empty and behind on your own care. 

I'm not saying not to be an activist, or not to be there for your relationships. Those things are important. But it's equally (if not more) important to take care of your own mind, body, house, and rest. As much as we'd like to, we can't be everywhere at once. So sometimes, we have to just BE. Get busy with the things that make YOU happy, and make time for the things that heal YOU. 

The world is hard enough without extra people forcing negativity into our orbit. You don't always have to stand for something, and you don't always have to react with energy, anger, and quickness. Marinate on the people around you, and take time to bring in the things that give you peace. The rest may just be noise that is causing you to lose sight of your own important future. 

Grieving

I lost my Uncle Jerry this past week, and it brought a wave of emotions all around me. I saw him struggle, and it made me upset to see such an upbeat guy in so much pain. But I saw him cognizant, even dying in hospice, still cracking jokes. His sharpness and his detailed stories, even while he was gasping for breath, were astounding to me. It made me think about the duality of life, and our responses to tough circumstances. 

Here was this man, laying there as everyone said "see you later" (I never say "goodbye") on his deathbed, still telling me he was proud of me, and trying to motivate me. If being surrounded by loved ones and telling old stories isn't the perfect legacy, then trying to help others at the end, surely is. My Uncle Jerry had both. 

It was painfully sad to lose his physical presence, and I broke down a bit outside of his room. It's hard to see your family cry, and it's even harder knowing that you haven't seen most of them in years. As weddings and funerals become the most prevalent markers of the passage of time, we see our mortality as others look at how much we've grown. Infants become adults, adults become weathered matriarchs, and weathered matriarchs become dearly departed. The cycle moves on, all too quickly. 

I said all of that to say: that the most vivid memories I had this week were of my uncle, mobile and smiling. Me as a happy child, running freely, his little "Merink". So, when you do see your old family and friends, hug them a little longer. Call them more, take more pictures, tell them you're proud of them. The harsh reality is, they won't be here for long. But remember them as the people that raised you when life was easier, bigger, and more timeless. We all need to hold onto that part of us a little longer. Uncle Jerry would've wanted it that way. 

See you soon, Uncle Jerry. Your Merink is proud of you. 

Balancing Your Holiday Season

Plainly speaking, this generation has been trained to focus on commercialism during the holidays. The former notions of peace and thankfulness often get replaced by shopping, decoration, gift wrapping, and cooking. With the hustle and bustle taking the forefront, it's easy for Christmas to start feeling like a task list of errands instead of the Holly Jolly time of year that Bing Crosby used to sing about. That causes feelings of stress, overwhelm, and even dread during a time that we're supposed to look forward to. 

To combat this, we must find moments of quiet contemplation. My resolution for this may sound easier said than done. But it's a matter of practice and reminders. As busy creatures with a thousand things in our phone calendars, we don't leave ourselves much time for peace. But allotting yourself even twenty minutes per day to sit and breathe can do wonders for your mood and mental health. 

Write it in your phones, set an alarm, have a friend text you to keep you accountable. Do whatever you have to do. Whether it's part of your morning routine in the shower, or at night before bed, be alone with your thoughts to remember the reason for the season. Take the time to drum up memories from nostalgic Christmases past, and to conjure moments from loved ones whom you miss most during this time of year. 

Set some new precedents for the holidays. Lower your spending limits and buy less material things. Dance around to Christmas music while you wrap five presents per day, instead of stressing yourself out by doing them all at once. Have some simple holiday nights in with your family, watching movies with hot chocolate in your pajamas. Reconnect with people that you've missed out on throughout the year. 

Life simply goes by too quickly to be stressing over traditions set by people you've never met. Make your holidays what YOU want them to be. Start your OWN traditions that make you happy instead of slowly crossing tasks off of a list. You only get so many of these years in good health with all the people that you love. Spend these days thinking of all the cool places and people you've seen, instead of rushing to get to the next big date on the calendar. With some balance in your holiday season, you may remember the excitement that you once felt for these days as a child. And that kind of youthful innocence is one of the best gifts you could ever give yourself. 

Happy Holidays, My Blessed Readers,

Jason Burke

The Last Stand

Back in June, I decided I was going to do the one thing I’d never done before on a 48 Hour Film Project…run my own team. I’ve written for them, assistant directed, script supervised, acted, run sound, shot scenes, ect over the past nine years. But for the big number ten, I wanted to see if I could really direct my own. I’d directed dozens of things over the years, but I’d always thought the 48 was the biggest local film challenge possible. So this October, running number ten was going to be my competition swan song.

Truth be told, my body simply isn’t equipped for these long hours and tight deadlines anymore. I was born with cerebral palsy, and since about 2010, the combination of spinal stenosis and fusion surgeries has made my balance and endurance about 20% of what it used to be. My hands have been closing and my legs have been trying to scissor. My neurologists begged me not to do this, citing that I legitimately take years off of my life when I do these competitions. But I’m a creator so, being the stubborn guy that I am, I decided to take the chance anyway. I probably didn’t help matters any when I stumbled at the Kickoff Event and concussed myself on a concrete wall before we even got our genres. This was no time for doctors, this was #TheLastStand.  

If I didn’t have the awesome team that I did, I wouldn’t have felt comfortable going into this battle so weary. My talented cinematographer also came in very injured, and he sacrificed just as much as I did (if not more). I made new friendships, galvanized old ones, and sprinted to a movie with some of the kindest, hardest working people I’ve ever met. We didn’t win any awards (but did get a runner-up and a nomination that I’m very proud of), but I said that as long as we enjoyed the process and made a good film, I’d be okay with whatever the results were. I believe we did that, so I’m extremely proud to call this my final 48HFP. #TheLastStand was a success. 

So I leave you with this. Thank you to every person I’ve ever competed with, and competed “against” in these. You guys are family now, and will be family forever. Thank you to Kahmeela, Lance, PJ, the judges, and everyone who has given us a platform to create and showcase our work. Artists, if you’re thinking about making a movie, the time is now. This city is BURSTING with talent that gets fresher and sharper every year. Take a chance, network, and see your vision come to life on the big screen. There’s no experience like it. Don’t be afraid to fail. You will fail, a lot, and it will be the best thing that could happen to you. You will learn and grow and be better with every film and every test that comes your way. This competition has a way of making memories and friends that last a lifetime. Film itself is a legacy, in that you will have your name in the credits until the end of time, and what an AMAZING gift that is to leave the world with.

I’m not done with filmmaking, not by a longshot. I’m retired from the time constraints and regulations of short competitions. But I’ve got a lot of stories to tell, and I want to represent the handicapped community and be a motivator for people who haven’t found their voice yet. So I look forward to writing, directing, and acting with you all on set, for many years to come. 

I don’t really know what my goal was in writing this. Partially to tell my story, partially to try to inspire people, and largely to impart my gratitude to my talented colleagues in this community. You guys are more rare and special than you realize. So create. Make mistakes. Be original. Find your crew. Lead with love. Show the world your art. If we’ve learned anything at all, it’s that the world needs it. 

With Love And Respect,

Jason Burke