Saturday, May 26, 2018
Your Only Obstacle Is...You
As a self-help blogger who prides himself on normally being a positive guy, I'm sometimes embarrassed to put my weaker moments on paper. But I, like anyone else, have those days. You know, those days, where everything seems to be stacking up on you. The more you try to get done, the more work starts to mount. The more you need to do, the more exhaustion starts rearing its ugly head. There isn't enough coffee or candy on the planet to propel you out of your seat to start on task number one.
But here's the thing, it's just a day. You've had days like that before...and you got through them. It seemed like you'd never come out the other side, and now, those stressful moments are just stories that end with "I can't believe I got over that." Life's inherently unfair, and sometimes even unrelenting, but there are lessons and eventual triumphs that come with those impossible days. Most times, that lesson is to believe in yourself just a little more. You're just a little stronger than you think.
I'm disabled (or maybe just "abled" a bit slower than others) with cerebral palsy, so I travel with Access. For those unfamiliar, Access is a shared-ride cab system for select senior citizens and the slowly "abled" that drives you to where you need to go. I can't count the amount of times that I've slumped into the Access car on a Monday morning, devoid of any energy and feeling like the day ahead weighed ten tons. Then a 90 year old person who can barely walk and needs an apparatus to breathe gets in the car, smiling from ear to ear. They're in pain and need help to achieve the most basic of functions, yet you could never tell by their demeanor. They sit in the car and share stories about their many experiences, about life and love, and suddenly I understand why they smile in spite of their shortcomings. And I understand why they were put in my life on a gloomy Monday.
It's easy to stop. To blame others when things go wrong. To be too tired, too old, too weathered and worn. But some of life's oldest proverbs ring very true. Somebody always has it worse than you, no matter how bad your bubble convinces you that things are. And failure is only failure when you stop trying. So many times that we've failed, it's not that we couldn't do something right, it's the WAY we take the result. We only failed because we let ourselves feel defeated instead of learning something from it, and thirsting to be better.
Your mood, your drive, and the way you perceive your failures...those are the things weighing you down. Those are what keep your mind racing awake at night, and grasp you in a constant loop of stress. You're standing in your own way, choosing to put off tasks or decisions that would make tomorrow so much brighter than today. Today's mountain is tomorrow's conquering story. So take a lesson from those days you thought you could never get through. Believe in yourself just a little bit more. Slowly, work at it. Think about what you've overcome. You're a lot stronger than you think.
-Jason Burke
Wednesday, March 7, 2018
Showing Love...Unconditionally
Just a few weeks ago, the Hallmark holiday of love passed us by. But while Valentine's Day can be a great reminder to show/give love to those important to you, that shouldn't stop you from doing these things daily. Don't wait for a stop on the calendar to remind those who are engrossed in your life that you care for and appreciate them. Having people who truly care for you is rare, and should be the most cherished gift on this planet. Time, attention, and love are far more precious than a monetary present, and you don't have to break the bank to show appreciation for those you care about. Here are a few simple ways to show love to the important people in your life.
1. The Friendship Sense
Everyone should be lucky enough to have at least one of these kinds of people in their lives. The person who can just tell when things are "off". When you seem down, your phone suddenly lights up with a "hey, you seem different today, what's up?". You've built such a rapport with some people, that they intrinsically know when things are amiss. People are often too proud to reach out when things aren't going their way, or they feel like a burden if they start to complain too much, because they don't want to bring you down. So if someone's text patterns are off, their energy seems low, or they've just been through a trauma, reach out and remind them that you're there. Don't push in case they need space, but just remind them that you love them and are there if they need anything. Simply being present is one of the deepest and most appreciated forms of love you can show.
2. Random Check-Ins
Sometimes, a mundane day can be instantly uplifted when you hear from someone who's dear to you. A simple "how have you been?" or a random meme tag can spread a smile across someone's face. These things take almost no effort, but they can mean the world to the recipient.
3. "Thinking Of You" Gifts
Much like number 2 on our list, these little thoughts go a long way. These gifts don't need to be a filet mignon or a diamond necklace, they just need to encompass the right amount of mind and heart. If you're out at the store and you see something that reminds you of a loved one, pick it up (if you have the money). Whether it's a movie you saw together, a silly stuffed version of their favorite animal, or the newest work of their favorite author, it shows personal effort and conscious thought. It awakens charming memories and will make both parties of the relationship grow in fondness.
4. Sacrificial Meet-Ups
Life, all too often, gets in the way. We keep saying we need to hang out with people, but one thing or another prevents it from happening. Actively setting dates to hang out (and KEEPING those dates) is an important part of our relationships and our sanity. No matter how tired we are, sometimes cleaning the house or sleeping that extra hour can be put off in favor of bonding. Whether it's a small escape out for coffee or wine, or calling your loved one with an abrupt "I know you've been sad, turn off the TV. We're going out, I'll pick you up in a half hour", these moments become etched in our minds as far more important than the things we put them off for. Even if this happens for just one hour per week, it'll make your friendships stronger and your stress dampen.
Hopefully these quick tips have helped you recall some dear people in your lives, and light a fire under you to show unconditional love to some people you may not see as much as you like. These things don't take much time or money, but after all, love is the reason we're all here. Stay blessed everyone. Until next time, love yourselves, and each other.
-Jason Burke
1. The Friendship Sense
Everyone should be lucky enough to have at least one of these kinds of people in their lives. The person who can just tell when things are "off". When you seem down, your phone suddenly lights up with a "hey, you seem different today, what's up?". You've built such a rapport with some people, that they intrinsically know when things are amiss. People are often too proud to reach out when things aren't going their way, or they feel like a burden if they start to complain too much, because they don't want to bring you down. So if someone's text patterns are off, their energy seems low, or they've just been through a trauma, reach out and remind them that you're there. Don't push in case they need space, but just remind them that you love them and are there if they need anything. Simply being present is one of the deepest and most appreciated forms of love you can show.
2. Random Check-Ins
Sometimes, a mundane day can be instantly uplifted when you hear from someone who's dear to you. A simple "how have you been?" or a random meme tag can spread a smile across someone's face. These things take almost no effort, but they can mean the world to the recipient.
3. "Thinking Of You" Gifts
Much like number 2 on our list, these little thoughts go a long way. These gifts don't need to be a filet mignon or a diamond necklace, they just need to encompass the right amount of mind and heart. If you're out at the store and you see something that reminds you of a loved one, pick it up (if you have the money). Whether it's a movie you saw together, a silly stuffed version of their favorite animal, or the newest work of their favorite author, it shows personal effort and conscious thought. It awakens charming memories and will make both parties of the relationship grow in fondness.
4. Sacrificial Meet-Ups
Life, all too often, gets in the way. We keep saying we need to hang out with people, but one thing or another prevents it from happening. Actively setting dates to hang out (and KEEPING those dates) is an important part of our relationships and our sanity. No matter how tired we are, sometimes cleaning the house or sleeping that extra hour can be put off in favor of bonding. Whether it's a small escape out for coffee or wine, or calling your loved one with an abrupt "I know you've been sad, turn off the TV. We're going out, I'll pick you up in a half hour", these moments become etched in our minds as far more important than the things we put them off for. Even if this happens for just one hour per week, it'll make your friendships stronger and your stress dampen.
Hopefully these quick tips have helped you recall some dear people in your lives, and light a fire under you to show unconditional love to some people you may not see as much as you like. These things don't take much time or money, but after all, love is the reason we're all here. Stay blessed everyone. Until next time, love yourselves, and each other.
-Jason Burke
Sunday, January 21, 2018
Restoring Energy
Far too often, we make our problems seem worse than they actually are. "Making a mountain out of a molehill", our parents would warn us. The inability to think clearly, and the ease it takes to get entirely overwhelmed is a far too common issue that keeps us from solving our dilemmas. Most times, that comes from us not giving ourselves the proper attention. By putting ourselves first on occasion, we can restore the energy we've been lacking to tackle life's doldrums. Here are some common examples of times when we need to reflect, that would make our lives a whole lot easier.
1. Friends Issues:
This is the most common of the examples of overloading ourselves. It's always important to be a good friend and put in effort to aid others. But there are things we must identify for ourselves to make sure we're not neglecting ourselves in the process. Firstly, is this a true friend? Are they someone that makes you feel elevated and proud? Do they put effort into you? If this person is always blaming you for their choices, or you're coming away from hangouts with them feeling heavy and stressed, they're toxic. Those kinds of people will ALWAYS have problems and be surrounded by drama, because that's what they enjoy. Do not throw yourself into the middle of those storms, because they'll judge you for your advice and make you feel like the center of the problem.
However, if they are a true friend, it's a lovely and caring gesture to be at their side through their trauma. Order pizza, have a drink, watch some movies, and talk it out. But empaths often know the haunting side to being TOO involved. The saying goes "you can't pour from an empty cup". Meaning if you are denying yourself to spend all your time solving someone else's pain, you'll never get through yours. Friendship requires sacrifice, but work together to set some schedules so that you both are getting the rest and care you need. Once your energy depletes, you become irritable, scattered, and even sometimes resentful of the things that took it away. Know your limits.
2. Over-Working:
Work is a necessary evil. It's not only good from a financial standpoint, but also in keeping our minds and bodies productive. Having the drive to want to work and climb the ladder to success is a wonderful trait. But...know your limits. Sure, in this economy, we all need the money. But never work so hard that you no longer remember what you're working for. Sometimes it's okay to go out with your family for a nice dinner on your day off, or turn down overtime to go home and fall asleep while binge-watching your favorite comfort show. Enterprising is positive, but give yourself time to turn your brain off. Appreciate the work you put in, and reward yourself with a fun hangout or a long bath. If you can't enjoy anything other than work, then you're working too much.
3. Organize and Plan:
So your financial situation is marred in debt. You've got school loans, a car part to fix, and you're saving for a house. The first thing you'll do is panic. Solvency feels like it'll never come. The same example can be applied to a new homeowner with a thousand things to plan, a new mother on no sleep who wants to go back to school, or an artist who's buried in projects that are unfinished. These tasks seem daunting and impossible, but they aren't. Put your focus on one thing at a time. It's hard, but compartmentalizing is a skill that pays back in spades. The second you make a list, a little stress lifts. You go after one task, and you feel good for attacking your problems. You ask around and make the proper phone calls, and see what aid may be available to you. Suddenly you feel a new sense of pride and accomplishment rising, and your self-worth and energy starts to return. Set a plan, follow through, and ask for help if needed. Right away, the impossible becomes possible.
4. You Can Say No:
The kind-hearted souls devouring this blog have a hard time saying 'no' to anyone. That goes for friends (see above), family, loans, or valuable time. Saying no is one of the hardest things for a self-sacrificial empath to do, but it's completely paramount to a healthy lifestyle. If you start to make time for yourself, your energy starts to restore instantly. Set it up so that you can stay in the shower for an extra 10 minutes, or sleep in for another hour on the weekend. Instead of over-booking yourself, forcing your body to give everything to everyone, handle that conversation via text after you finish a chapter of a good book. Put off catching up on e-mail for an hour while you write or draw...it's not going anywhere. You'll feel more well-rounded, more proud, and more calm. People that truly love you will understand that you need a night to yourself to recover. The energy you get will help you give out more coherent, heartfelt, positive, work or advice to others down the road. To help others, you must first be in a good place yourself.
I hope these steps in restoring energy were helpful, and I hope your goals for the new year are off to a hot start. Love yourselves, and each other. See you soon,
-Jason Burke
1. Friends Issues:
This is the most common of the examples of overloading ourselves. It's always important to be a good friend and put in effort to aid others. But there are things we must identify for ourselves to make sure we're not neglecting ourselves in the process. Firstly, is this a true friend? Are they someone that makes you feel elevated and proud? Do they put effort into you? If this person is always blaming you for their choices, or you're coming away from hangouts with them feeling heavy and stressed, they're toxic. Those kinds of people will ALWAYS have problems and be surrounded by drama, because that's what they enjoy. Do not throw yourself into the middle of those storms, because they'll judge you for your advice and make you feel like the center of the problem.
However, if they are a true friend, it's a lovely and caring gesture to be at their side through their trauma. Order pizza, have a drink, watch some movies, and talk it out. But empaths often know the haunting side to being TOO involved. The saying goes "you can't pour from an empty cup". Meaning if you are denying yourself to spend all your time solving someone else's pain, you'll never get through yours. Friendship requires sacrifice, but work together to set some schedules so that you both are getting the rest and care you need. Once your energy depletes, you become irritable, scattered, and even sometimes resentful of the things that took it away. Know your limits.
2. Over-Working:
Work is a necessary evil. It's not only good from a financial standpoint, but also in keeping our minds and bodies productive. Having the drive to want to work and climb the ladder to success is a wonderful trait. But...know your limits. Sure, in this economy, we all need the money. But never work so hard that you no longer remember what you're working for. Sometimes it's okay to go out with your family for a nice dinner on your day off, or turn down overtime to go home and fall asleep while binge-watching your favorite comfort show. Enterprising is positive, but give yourself time to turn your brain off. Appreciate the work you put in, and reward yourself with a fun hangout or a long bath. If you can't enjoy anything other than work, then you're working too much.
3. Organize and Plan:
So your financial situation is marred in debt. You've got school loans, a car part to fix, and you're saving for a house. The first thing you'll do is panic. Solvency feels like it'll never come. The same example can be applied to a new homeowner with a thousand things to plan, a new mother on no sleep who wants to go back to school, or an artist who's buried in projects that are unfinished. These tasks seem daunting and impossible, but they aren't. Put your focus on one thing at a time. It's hard, but compartmentalizing is a skill that pays back in spades. The second you make a list, a little stress lifts. You go after one task, and you feel good for attacking your problems. You ask around and make the proper phone calls, and see what aid may be available to you. Suddenly you feel a new sense of pride and accomplishment rising, and your self-worth and energy starts to return. Set a plan, follow through, and ask for help if needed. Right away, the impossible becomes possible.
4. You Can Say No:
The kind-hearted souls devouring this blog have a hard time saying 'no' to anyone. That goes for friends (see above), family, loans, or valuable time. Saying no is one of the hardest things for a self-sacrificial empath to do, but it's completely paramount to a healthy lifestyle. If you start to make time for yourself, your energy starts to restore instantly. Set it up so that you can stay in the shower for an extra 10 minutes, or sleep in for another hour on the weekend. Instead of over-booking yourself, forcing your body to give everything to everyone, handle that conversation via text after you finish a chapter of a good book. Put off catching up on e-mail for an hour while you write or draw...it's not going anywhere. You'll feel more well-rounded, more proud, and more calm. People that truly love you will understand that you need a night to yourself to recover. The energy you get will help you give out more coherent, heartfelt, positive, work or advice to others down the road. To help others, you must first be in a good place yourself.
I hope these steps in restoring energy were helpful, and I hope your goals for the new year are off to a hot start. Love yourselves, and each other. See you soon,
-Jason Burke
Thursday, December 28, 2017
The Value Of Uncluttering
The end of another all-too-fast year is rapidly approaching. The dust from Christmas chaos is starting to settle, and the promises of hope for 2018 are ringing through the air. Back at the start of this year, I wrote a blog called "New Year, Same Me", where I declared that a simple change of the calendar isn't enough to push-start a happier life. Actions are what makes tomorrow a better day. As temperatures drop, complacency begins to set in, which brings with it a whole pile of self-loathing and overwhelming stress. Well, I have one of the biggest and most underrated methods to combat those tired feelings: Uncluttering.
Uncluttering is a very simple and archaic concept that contains a ton of different benefits. The idea is to clean up certain areas of your life, clinging to the things you love, and letting go of the things that bring you negativity. By organizing your life this way, you're physically making an effort to discard baggage and highlight the things that make you feel joy. This not only increases productivity and gives a better aesthetic look to the world around you, but reduces stress, which aides your physical and mental health. This can be done at any time. When you feel more tidy and organized, you simply feel better about your life. Here are some of the biggest areas you can unclutter right away.
1. Your House- Certain personality types are known to clean their homes in times of worry. Physical cleaning is the most common type of uncluttering. Being able to look around your home and see a tidy space gives you a sense of pride and adulthood that few other things do. A cluttered house can be one of the biggest senses of dread, especially around a holiday with incoming company. Give away clothes that you never wear or have outgrown. Throw away outdated documents, or receipts from 1993. Organize your junk drawer, and dig to the bottom of your closets. Organizing a space gets the blood flowing and saves a ton of last minute searching when you've lost something. The hardest part is getting started.
2. Your Hobbies- Though these methods can be done any time, this section is often heavily pushed around this time of year. Sometimes our actual jobs can't be controlled due to the necessity of money. But the new year is a great time to get back to those artistic expressions that you've lost through the hectic doldrums of adulthood. Time is an incredible thing that constantly needs uncluttered. We always promise ourselves that we're going to make time for more of the things we love, yet we never do. Start to schedule time to be creative. Whether it's through writing, music, drawing, athletics, or simply more time to read, having a purpose outside of our jobs is crucial. Making yourself a safe time and space to create is not only a huge stress reliever, but it's a way to sharpen your mind and give yourself another sense of accomplishment. Even if it's only 20 minutes per day. It may be the hardest of the areas to unclutter, because it takes a consistent effort, but the benefits of happiness that come with it are limitless.
3. Your Relationships- This one is often forgotten about, but is perhaps the most important of the areas to unclutter. You should always take the time to examine the relationships in your life, because people themselves tend to be our biggest harbingers for happiness or frustration. Do this for everyone...family, partners, business colleagues, and friends. Make time to draw those closer to you who make you happy. Even if it's making a late dinner date when you're tired, or sending a ten second text to check up on someone who you appreciate. It makes their day, and it creates a positive flow of dialogue or a warm memory. A good social life is a beautiful ventilation and respite from the labors of life. By the same token, rid yourself of toxic people that drag you into drama or make you feel angry or heavy. As hard as it is, cutting off people who breed negativity is a form of self-love and self-preservation. You may feel bad for that person, but it's better than having a constant pit of stress in your heart. Do the same with social media. Is there a person who you never talk to on Facebook who's always trolling? Unfriend them. That person on Twitter who wants to engage everyone in political debates? Unfollow them. An uncluttered profile, much like an uncluttered life, gets rid of unnecessary stress and allows you to put energy into the people who you truly care about.
Taking these simple steps will increase your mood, your body, and your spirit instantly. I wish you all a happy and uncluttered life, and a happy and safe holiday season. I'll see you all in 2018. Love yourselves, and be good to each other.
-Jason Burke
Monday, August 7, 2017
Giving Without Receiving
There was once a farmer, who spent years cultivating the perfect garden. He spent years and years tending to it, only letting the best people near it. It was his heart and soul, the most important pieces of his life. Every morning, he'd come out to check on his corn, his tomatoes, his peppers, etc, in his calming daily routine.
One day, a man came by and asked the farmer if he could borrow his corn. The farmer replied, "Sure! As long as you can bring some back at some point!" The next day, a girl came by and asked if she could borrow the farmer's tomatoes. The farmer replied "Well, I'm feeling a little weary now that my corn is gone, but you seem nice, so sure. Just promise that when you have some tomatoes, you'll bring some back to share with me." She agreed.
The next day, the farmer was looking around at his garden, realizing that it was looking way less full than before. He felt a little empty inside. Just then, a group of people approached the farmer, asking if they may have the rest of his stock. "We're really hungry, and everything looks so good! Would you mind if we each took a share? I'm sure they'll grow back next season!" The farmer replied, "Well, that would totally empty out my once plentiful garden, but I think you'd all enjoy it. So go ahead, I can do without." They responded "We really appreciate it, and we promise to come back one day and replace all we've taken".
None of the people ever returned to the farm. The farmer came out for the next few months, hoping to rebuild his once mighty farm. He looked down, seeing just holes and dirt where the crops used to grow. Another lady approached, and the farmer said "I don't have any crops left to give. They've all been used up. But if you're hungry, I could go see what I have inside." The lady replied, "No, I just wanted to ask you something. I saw all those people take and take from you, with no return. And yet you kept giving. After years and years of hard work, you have nothing to show for it. Why aren't you more upset?"
The Farmer retorted back, "Well, I'm sad to see my crops gone, but people needed them. My hard work fed people and made them happy. Now there are pieces of my heart and soul spread out across a ton of places. Isn't that the point of growing in the first place?"
-Jason Burke
One day, a man came by and asked the farmer if he could borrow his corn. The farmer replied, "Sure! As long as you can bring some back at some point!" The next day, a girl came by and asked if she could borrow the farmer's tomatoes. The farmer replied "Well, I'm feeling a little weary now that my corn is gone, but you seem nice, so sure. Just promise that when you have some tomatoes, you'll bring some back to share with me." She agreed.
The next day, the farmer was looking around at his garden, realizing that it was looking way less full than before. He felt a little empty inside. Just then, a group of people approached the farmer, asking if they may have the rest of his stock. "We're really hungry, and everything looks so good! Would you mind if we each took a share? I'm sure they'll grow back next season!" The farmer replied, "Well, that would totally empty out my once plentiful garden, but I think you'd all enjoy it. So go ahead, I can do without." They responded "We really appreciate it, and we promise to come back one day and replace all we've taken".
None of the people ever returned to the farm. The farmer came out for the next few months, hoping to rebuild his once mighty farm. He looked down, seeing just holes and dirt where the crops used to grow. Another lady approached, and the farmer said "I don't have any crops left to give. They've all been used up. But if you're hungry, I could go see what I have inside." The lady replied, "No, I just wanted to ask you something. I saw all those people take and take from you, with no return. And yet you kept giving. After years and years of hard work, you have nothing to show for it. Why aren't you more upset?"
The Farmer retorted back, "Well, I'm sad to see my crops gone, but people needed them. My hard work fed people and made them happy. Now there are pieces of my heart and soul spread out across a ton of places. Isn't that the point of growing in the first place?"
-Jason Burke
Sunday, May 14, 2017
To Those With Mothers in Heaven on Mother's Day
What can be said about mothers? They literally gave us life. No words I can create here will mean as much as the gift of life. They're our first soulmates, our first protectors. They put our well being ahead of their own. They cook for us. They bandage our wounds. They order pizza and wings for the whole block. They keep an eye on us out the window as we play outside with our friends. They wash our clothes, sign our permission slips, and teach us right from wrong. And when we get older, they tell us to pursue our dreams...and are sitting right in the front row to cheer us on when we do. But for some of us, the time here on earth with our beloved moms was cut too short. They were taken from us in their primes, long before we were ready to let them go.
For those people, Mother's Day (even more than most others) is bittersweet. Don't get me wrong, every day is hard, but it's those holidays and anniversaries that really remind us that we can't hug our moms and thank them for all they've done. Watching everyone else treat their moms to dinner and post loving dedications on Facebook makes us really miss their daily impact on our lives. We think about the things that they never got to see us do. Like having their mothers in attendance for graduation. Or introducing their moms to very important friends/partners in their lives. Or dancing with their moms at their wedding. Or watching their moms hold their grandchildren for the first time. We know you're proud of us, but we just want to hear you say it once more.
We go to dial your phone number to tell you about an exciting new job we just got, but it just rings. We knock on your door late at night to get advice about a fight we had with our significant other, but you're not home anymore. We come over to invite you out for Mother's Day dinner, but you aren't sitting in your spot. Your spot's just...empty. Today, just like all days, we miss you. We miss the simple way you'd put us on the right track in life. We miss the smell of your cooking. We miss the way you'd host parties, and keep the family together. We miss the way you'd make all our troubles disappear, by singing "You Are My Sunshine" to us. We miss all those little millions of moments where you made us feel special.
But we know you're still with us. It may not be the same, but you're still with us. You're with us when we breathe out after a stressful day. You're with us when your song pops on the radio, or your favorite movie comes on TV. You're with us in a peaceful breeze, or a day at the beach, or a baby's laugh. And you're not just our angel, guarding beside us...you're inside everything that we do. Every bit of wisdom that we have, that came from you. Every time we make a new friend, or show off our sense of humor, that came from you. Every time we cook a meal, or multitask five things at once, that came from you. All the important decisions that we're about to make, that will shape the rest of our lives...that came from you.
So here on Mother's Day, we try to push aside the hurt, and conjure up all the fond memories that we love about you. We keep you close to our hearts, and know that inside every tear is something about you that we cherish. Please, be extra kind to us today, for our souls are in pain, but our hearts are full of love. If you have your mother with you on her special day, I beg you to hold her tightly. Tell her how much you appreciate everything she's done, and know how lucky you are. Mothers in Heaven, we thank you. Thank you for loving us. Thank you for making us who we've become, and who we will be. Thanks for being our moms, and now our angels. Please hold the gates of Heaven wide open for us. We'll leave an empty chair in the front row, because we know you're still sitting there, cheering us on in everything we do...
-Jason Burke
For those people, Mother's Day (even more than most others) is bittersweet. Don't get me wrong, every day is hard, but it's those holidays and anniversaries that really remind us that we can't hug our moms and thank them for all they've done. Watching everyone else treat their moms to dinner and post loving dedications on Facebook makes us really miss their daily impact on our lives. We think about the things that they never got to see us do. Like having their mothers in attendance for graduation. Or introducing their moms to very important friends/partners in their lives. Or dancing with their moms at their wedding. Or watching their moms hold their grandchildren for the first time. We know you're proud of us, but we just want to hear you say it once more.
We go to dial your phone number to tell you about an exciting new job we just got, but it just rings. We knock on your door late at night to get advice about a fight we had with our significant other, but you're not home anymore. We come over to invite you out for Mother's Day dinner, but you aren't sitting in your spot. Your spot's just...empty. Today, just like all days, we miss you. We miss the simple way you'd put us on the right track in life. We miss the smell of your cooking. We miss the way you'd host parties, and keep the family together. We miss the way you'd make all our troubles disappear, by singing "You Are My Sunshine" to us. We miss all those little millions of moments where you made us feel special.
But we know you're still with us. It may not be the same, but you're still with us. You're with us when we breathe out after a stressful day. You're with us when your song pops on the radio, or your favorite movie comes on TV. You're with us in a peaceful breeze, or a day at the beach, or a baby's laugh. And you're not just our angel, guarding beside us...you're inside everything that we do. Every bit of wisdom that we have, that came from you. Every time we make a new friend, or show off our sense of humor, that came from you. Every time we cook a meal, or multitask five things at once, that came from you. All the important decisions that we're about to make, that will shape the rest of our lives...that came from you.
So here on Mother's Day, we try to push aside the hurt, and conjure up all the fond memories that we love about you. We keep you close to our hearts, and know that inside every tear is something about you that we cherish. Please, be extra kind to us today, for our souls are in pain, but our hearts are full of love. If you have your mother with you on her special day, I beg you to hold her tightly. Tell her how much you appreciate everything she's done, and know how lucky you are. Mothers in Heaven, we thank you. Thank you for loving us. Thank you for making us who we've become, and who we will be. Thanks for being our moms, and now our angels. Please hold the gates of Heaven wide open for us. We'll leave an empty chair in the front row, because we know you're still sitting there, cheering us on in everything we do...
-Jason Burke
Wednesday, May 10, 2017
Five Things NOT To Put On Social Media
Social media can be a wonderful...or a dangerous thing. There are many benefits to having Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram, etc. It's a wonderful way to touch base with tons of people all at once. You can keep up with the lives of people you wouldn't see often, and reconnect with friends and family who you haven't heard from in years. You can let people know with a simple 'like' or a funny meme that you're thinking of them. You can spread awareness about your work/projects, or ask for recommendations to things you're unsure of. But for as many convenient and informative features as social media grants us, there are just as many negative counterparts. Here is a list of five things you DON'T want to put on social media.
5. Geo-tags
Today's world has become accessible at the end of our fingertips. We can Skype or Facetime with a friend who's halfway across the world. But as cool as technology has gotten, it has also given us TOO much exposure. 2017 is a dangerous time period across the globe. With more robberies, murders, kidnappings etc than ever, we've got to be safe about who has access to what information. Geo-tagging is all about checking into certain places, letting people know where you're eating/drinking/shopping/etc. When you do this in abundance, you're inviting random people to have access to your location constantly. Depending on your settings, you could be allowing complete strangers the option of following you around. While that may sound a bit like an extreme alarmist statement, there are cases of this overexposure leading to dangerous encounters. If you're out eating or shopping with a friend, do you really need to let your 575 Facebook friends know the exact address you're at? A simple "out to eat with ___" would suffice if your meal really needs publicity.
4. Over Complaining
There are archetypes of people out there that social media users cannot stand. One of the biggest offenders on these lists are the constant complainers. It's one thing to use Facebook as a pulpit to air your grievances after a hard day, or to ask opinions on a given situation that upsets you, but it's another to post consecutive negative status updates every 6 hours. Sympathy or wise words can sometimes quell a restless spirit, but after a while, you must take action. Everyone deserves the right to a bad day, a bad week, or even a bad month. But the way to heal these wounds is through changing your approach or finding a solution. Continually posting angry blurbs isn't going to heal any wounds. All it's going to do is make people lose sympathy and eventually mute you from their lists. Everyone has it tough, and a course of action will always do more than words on a website.
3. Comparing
This is one of the biggest evils of social media. Human nature seems to dictate that we always feel worse about our own lives when comparing them to the lives of our peers. If a person is going through a breakup, and they find themselves scrolling social media to see all the other happy couples out there, they're naturally going to get depressed. Even when we're happy at times, we log in to see someone else getting a big job or a big house faster than us, and it makes us feel inadequate. Nothing good ever comes from putting yourself on the same plane as someone else. There is always someone better off than us, as well as someone worse off than us. Everyone's journey and time frames are different, and it doesn't make anyone better or worse than another. This one goes for both parties. The poster should be proud of themselves if things are going well, but to realize that constantly boasting one's successes could make people feel bitter or resentful, or start to question that person. That may be a problem that certain personalities (not all) may find tough to deal with. The scroller should realize that focusing on themselves and not trying to compete with others is the only way to feel content and secure.
2. Trolling
Please, don't be this person. Posting for opinions can be fun. Respectfully disagreeing is natural, and it's what makes us individuals. Even starting a lively, informative debate to listen/share ideas is a wonderful function of social media that could expand our way of thinking/relating to people. But there are certain personalities out there who live for trolling. Trolling is the idea that someone says something simply to put down another person or tries to start a fight simply because they're bored. While avoiding trolls may be impossible with today's internet, you don't have to engage them. If there's someone on your list who only responds to start fights and negative dialogue, block or delete them. They're adding nothing positive to your life, and they aren't really your friends to begin with. These people can't be persuaded with or spoken to rationally. They are an extension of cyber-bullies who are looking for cheap thrills off of your reaction. You'll be able to post with much less stress without having to worry about these lifeless drones sitting there waiting to rebut your views.
1. Relationship Drama
This is the most common sin I've found across all of social media. The second that one of these couples gets into a fight, they take to the internet to complain about how abused they've been to a bunch of strangers. They post vigorously on a daily basis about how they deserve better, and how they are unappreciated. They likely go from listed as "In A Relationship" to "Single" to "It's Complicated" on a weekly basis, and nobody takes them seriously. Then they go and complain that everyone takes their relationship as a joke, or that everyone is too involved in their situation. These are also the people who tag their lover in every other post about how perfect they are, after they complained in public about them yesterday. Now obviously I'm not talking about the proper, functioning couples out there. This one applies to the immature attention seekers who want to feel validated anytime something doesn't go their way. One of the main rules of a good relationship is that it doesn't need to be plastered on social media. I'm not saying you can't ask for a vague opinion on an issue or proudly post a picture of your significant other. I'm saying that when you publicly blast your partner or go to these extreme highs and lows, it's going to give others the right to a public opinion. It makes both partners look silly, and makes the relationship look even worse. If you have an issue with your partner, go talk to them personally and work through it like rational adults.
So, there are my five tips to a healthier, happier social media experience. I hope these ideas have made your scrolling just a bit easier today. Thank you as always, my valued readers...now I'm going to go post the link to this on social media. Be sure and share it with your friends! :)
-Jason Burke
5. Geo-tags
Today's world has become accessible at the end of our fingertips. We can Skype or Facetime with a friend who's halfway across the world. But as cool as technology has gotten, it has also given us TOO much exposure. 2017 is a dangerous time period across the globe. With more robberies, murders, kidnappings etc than ever, we've got to be safe about who has access to what information. Geo-tagging is all about checking into certain places, letting people know where you're eating/drinking/shopping/etc. When you do this in abundance, you're inviting random people to have access to your location constantly. Depending on your settings, you could be allowing complete strangers the option of following you around. While that may sound a bit like an extreme alarmist statement, there are cases of this overexposure leading to dangerous encounters. If you're out eating or shopping with a friend, do you really need to let your 575 Facebook friends know the exact address you're at? A simple "out to eat with ___" would suffice if your meal really needs publicity.
4. Over Complaining
There are archetypes of people out there that social media users cannot stand. One of the biggest offenders on these lists are the constant complainers. It's one thing to use Facebook as a pulpit to air your grievances after a hard day, or to ask opinions on a given situation that upsets you, but it's another to post consecutive negative status updates every 6 hours. Sympathy or wise words can sometimes quell a restless spirit, but after a while, you must take action. Everyone deserves the right to a bad day, a bad week, or even a bad month. But the way to heal these wounds is through changing your approach or finding a solution. Continually posting angry blurbs isn't going to heal any wounds. All it's going to do is make people lose sympathy and eventually mute you from their lists. Everyone has it tough, and a course of action will always do more than words on a website.
3. Comparing
This is one of the biggest evils of social media. Human nature seems to dictate that we always feel worse about our own lives when comparing them to the lives of our peers. If a person is going through a breakup, and they find themselves scrolling social media to see all the other happy couples out there, they're naturally going to get depressed. Even when we're happy at times, we log in to see someone else getting a big job or a big house faster than us, and it makes us feel inadequate. Nothing good ever comes from putting yourself on the same plane as someone else. There is always someone better off than us, as well as someone worse off than us. Everyone's journey and time frames are different, and it doesn't make anyone better or worse than another. This one goes for both parties. The poster should be proud of themselves if things are going well, but to realize that constantly boasting one's successes could make people feel bitter or resentful, or start to question that person. That may be a problem that certain personalities (not all) may find tough to deal with. The scroller should realize that focusing on themselves and not trying to compete with others is the only way to feel content and secure.
2. Trolling
Please, don't be this person. Posting for opinions can be fun. Respectfully disagreeing is natural, and it's what makes us individuals. Even starting a lively, informative debate to listen/share ideas is a wonderful function of social media that could expand our way of thinking/relating to people. But there are certain personalities out there who live for trolling. Trolling is the idea that someone says something simply to put down another person or tries to start a fight simply because they're bored. While avoiding trolls may be impossible with today's internet, you don't have to engage them. If there's someone on your list who only responds to start fights and negative dialogue, block or delete them. They're adding nothing positive to your life, and they aren't really your friends to begin with. These people can't be persuaded with or spoken to rationally. They are an extension of cyber-bullies who are looking for cheap thrills off of your reaction. You'll be able to post with much less stress without having to worry about these lifeless drones sitting there waiting to rebut your views.
1. Relationship Drama
This is the most common sin I've found across all of social media. The second that one of these couples gets into a fight, they take to the internet to complain about how abused they've been to a bunch of strangers. They post vigorously on a daily basis about how they deserve better, and how they are unappreciated. They likely go from listed as "In A Relationship" to "Single" to "It's Complicated" on a weekly basis, and nobody takes them seriously. Then they go and complain that everyone takes their relationship as a joke, or that everyone is too involved in their situation. These are also the people who tag their lover in every other post about how perfect they are, after they complained in public about them yesterday. Now obviously I'm not talking about the proper, functioning couples out there. This one applies to the immature attention seekers who want to feel validated anytime something doesn't go their way. One of the main rules of a good relationship is that it doesn't need to be plastered on social media. I'm not saying you can't ask for a vague opinion on an issue or proudly post a picture of your significant other. I'm saying that when you publicly blast your partner or go to these extreme highs and lows, it's going to give others the right to a public opinion. It makes both partners look silly, and makes the relationship look even worse. If you have an issue with your partner, go talk to them personally and work through it like rational adults.
So, there are my five tips to a healthier, happier social media experience. I hope these ideas have made your scrolling just a bit easier today. Thank you as always, my valued readers...now I'm going to go post the link to this on social media. Be sure and share it with your friends! :)
-Jason Burke
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